Blissed out

Knitting and quilting

After a blip of a broken camera I can finally take pictures again.  I've finally finished work properly which feels very, very weird.  I was exhausted by the time I finished and glad of the break but I'm now in some sort of baby limbo - just waiting!

What would I do without my birth ball?

I've realised I'm not one of life's patient people!  It's not been helped by the fact that Cole arrived at 36 weeks after my waters breaking a week previously.  So everyone, including me, has been expecting me to go into labour on the early side (although I was relieved to get to the magic 37 weeks of 'term'.)

But now I'm almost 39 weeks which feels about 2 weeks overdue! Although I'm trying to keep busy there's only so much cleaning and waddling around I can do.  Plus I'd give anything for a comfortable sleep - you know, without waking every hour to haul myself onto my other side or go to the loo!  But I'm not really moaning - (yeah, I know I'm doing a good impression of it!) How can I be really after the journey it took us to get here - I just can't wait to meet our baby!

So there has been much knitting going on - and I'm really proud of this one because I've always shied away from fairisle before - too complex, too many things that could go wrong, too much swearing!  But I really enjoyed doing this and I think it rocks! 

I've also done a roll about, kick your legs quilt so that our new little lady has somewhere to stretch out.  I love the combination of the colours and patterns and my edging skills are definitely improving - this one's practically neat!

Ok, finally a shot of my rapidly growing baby belly - no more bump envy for me, I've got a whopper of my own!

  
Enjoy your Sunday

Jo x

More Baby Making

I'm struggling to post at the moment as I usually do my blogging in the evenings or weekends whilst spending time with the family - nicely sat on the sofa with the laptop on my knee.  However those pregnancy hormones have been doing their job a bit too well on my spine and I've been getting backache in my tailbone which makes it really difficult to sit upright on a hard surface (or even a slightly squishy one like a sofa.)  So this is being written sat at my desk on my birth ball!

But I have been making though.  I've been knitting - and look - it's pink!  When we found out we were having a girl I couldn't help myself and had to buy some pink yarn - Rowan luxury cotton on half price sale no less - how could I not? 

The pattern is Debbie Bliss who does lovely knitting patterns for babies which are always nice and easy to follow.  John's not so thrilled it's pink - he's still holding onto the idea that we'll be able to have this little girl with no pink what so ever - I think he's going to have to rethink that myself!

As for my back I'm still determined to enjoy this pregnancy - I've got three months left (eeek that's gone so quickly!) and that's too long to be miserable and in pain so I've booked to see a chiropractor on Monday and I've made a choice to do at least 30 minutes yoga every day rather than just on a Saturday when I go to a class. AND even if I do carry on feeling achy and stiff - it's 3 little months - I can cope.  I'd rather not, but if it's comes down to it it's manageable. PMA and all that!

Have a lovely weekend

Jo x

Any Pessimists Out There May Want To Turn Away Now

I know it's been a couple of weeks since I've posted and it's not been deliberate at all - it's just the challenge of fitting everything in at the moment.  I'm desperately trying to get the Masters Dissertation properly underway as well as sorting out some things with Cole's school which are taking up a fair bit of my energy.  But it's all manageable - I'm now stressing, it's just time consuming.

Because I'm spending so much time of those things (along with my job and family of course!) the crafting and blogging is going a bit by the wayside.  Which is doubly frustrating really because there are soooooo many things I'm wanting to do and get underway.  John is busy decorating the nursery and I've ordered some totally gorgeous fabric form Anna Maria Horner's Good Folks Range to make curtains and other assorted nursery things. I want brights for the nursery and fell in love with the colours in this range. I can't wait to get started but have to content myself for now with looking at the fabric!

I have been knitting a lot too and have almost finished my next project - PINK! Which John is still not convinced about - I think he's fighting a losing battle deciding that our girl won't be wearing any pink to be honest. Yes there are some beautiful girls clothes out there is alternative colourways but the majority of them in most shops are pink. Even non pink clothes have pink bits on them.  And besides, there was something in me just had to buy the pink Rowan luxury cotton yarn that was on sale as soon as I found out we were expecting a girl - it just had to be done!

Despite being busy and living as frugally as we can to save up so that I can have a decent maternity leave, life is so fantastic at the moment I could almost burst.  I am so happy.  I am so grateful for everything that we have in our life - the past year; getting married, our amazing road trip, the wedding party, a new job, lovely Christmas and then getting - and staying, pregnant - it's been amazing.  Just over a year ago life felt a bit crap to be honest.  A second miscarriage and being stuck in a job I couldn't stand.  I was worn out, run down and stressed out.  Life felt a struggle and I think I was fairly low.

But then we went on our fantastic road trip - I still think back to driving all those miles through California, looking out at the amazing scenery and stopping as and when the mood took us.  We got married in Vegas a year ago yesterday which was a total blast and a day I'll always look back on with a big grin on my face! 

And here I am almost 6 months pregnant (eek that's passed quickly!) and whilst the first 3 months were full of exhaustion, nausea and a fair amount of 'oh God will this one work out?' tension, 3rd time lucky did it for me and we made it through. This one is sticking.  This one is a healthy little girl wriggling around inside me and I can't wait to meet her.  I'm loving being pregnant - absolutely loving it.  I'm eating well, I'm exercising, taking time out to relax each day and generally reveling in it all!  I'm still pretty compact bump wise which means I don't have any real pregnancy discomforts - apart from my daughter using my bladder as a trampoline every 5 minutes!  I really do feel glowing.

And we've been so lucky with how generous friends and family have been.  We've been given so much baby stuff that we've barely had to buy anything.  We've had a cot donated, car seat, bedding, clothes by the bag full, a baby sling, feeding cushion, steriliser, mobile, maternity clothes, baby bath, blankets - we were even offered a pram/stroller but because we're getting a new car which is a Mini Clubman and it has a tiny boot, it wouldn't fit in.  So the only things we've really had to buy is a stroller (bugaboo bee - very gorgeous) and a new mattress for the cot.
And I even managed to get a bargain on those  because I had 30% off code for an online store.

I'm determine to enjoy and revel in every last minute of this.  So apologies to you glass half empty people out there - believe me I was one myself for so long that I'm not going to feel a bit bad for feeling so good now.  As one friend said recently - "I'm so happy I could c**% rainbows!"  Which was just such a funny image it made me a laugh till I nearly peed (which doesn't take much right now!)

Enjoy your weekend
Jo x

20 Week Scan and we're on team...

or are we?

Bit frilly for a boy?

Yep, completely!  OK, I'm teasing - actually we're having a girl!

The 20 week scan was great.  I think it was the first scan I've actually enjoyed - all the others have been tension filled, bladder bursting, is there a problem ordeals that I was just glad when they were over.  And the first few minutes of this one was no different - especially as we'd chosen not to have a nuchal scan or a Bart's test (blood test to assess risk for Down's Syndrome.)  I'd decided that as I was more likely to come back as high risk because of my age and that I didn't want to have an Amnio because of the miscarriage risk (around 1%) having the test would just give me cause for anxiety.  I was also pretty sure that I couldn't personally terminate the pregnancy if there was a problem like downs - it's a very personal choice I know and I would never, ever judge anyone else for making that decision - I just knew I couldn't do it myself.

So there was quite a bit of tension leading up to this scan. But it showed NO indication of problems at all.  Everything was fine and healthy and measuring right and there was a wriggly little baby in there.  We asked for the gender and were told it was a 'little princess' - a girl!  I honestly, honestly had no preference either way - I was just so relieved that everything was well.  But on some level I'd obviously thought I was going to have another boy because it took me a few minutes to adjust to the idea of it being a girl - a little voice inside me kept saying 'that can't be right, I have boys, I can do boys.' But it didn't last long.  Now I'm thrilled - I'm having a gorgeous, healthy, little girl.

But as I'd bought yarn in various colours AND have a rule that this baby won't be dressed head to toe in pink.  So a pretty, frilly, girly blue little shrug will do just fine as the first official thing made for her.

That being said, apparently the scans are only 95% accurate for telling gender - and I have lost count of the number of people who've told me stories of friends being told they were having girls and out popped a little boy - but they're all friends of friends nieces cousins - I've never actually met anyone it's directly happened to themselves - anyway, 95% is still pretty accurate isn't it!

I'm so happy and relaxed right now it's wonderful.  I feel that I've finally fully committed to the idea that this pregnancy is happenning and there is going to be a beautiful baby at the end of it all.  And if it turns out that the baby is a boy it's hardly a disaster is it?  And I'll just have a whole load of pretty little handmade dresses to sell on etsy!

And in the spirit of relaxing I went to ante natal yoga this morning.  I was lovely and chilled - hardly a workout but lovely and gentle.  When I saw all the other ladies with their big bumps I assumed they were all miles further on in their pregnancies than me - but NO!  They were mostly only a few weeks further on - someone was 23 weeks, 24, 26, 28 - in fact only one was in her 3rd trimester.  I had such bump envy!  I know I'm going to completely regret saying this when I'm the size of a house and have swollen ankles but right now I want to look properly pregnant!

So here is my most recent bump picture - 21 weeks and counting.  If it wasn't for the ultrasounds, 3 months of morning sickness, midwife appointments, needling to pee every 20 minutes and regular little kicks I'm feeling I would probably convince myself it's all the extra pieces of cake I've eaten!

Jo x

Blossom

The year is going so quickly.  One minute it was Christmas and then I seemed to go into a 3 month hibernation and then ... it's spring. 

The garden has burst forth into blossom.  Flowers are everywhere.  Yesterday the evening sun was so beautiful I just had to go out and take some pictures of the cherry blossom.

New life appears to be everywhere.  In more ways than one.  My hibernation has been blossom related too - I'm 15 weeks pregnant. 

I know this won't be news to everyone but I've not discussed it on this blog for a few reasons.  Firstly I really felt protective of the whole experience and didn't want to talk about it in 'normal' circles until I felt of safer ground.  As this blog has been such a big part of my life for the past 18 months and so many of you are people I'd consider to be friends, talking about it here would be like unleashing a secret before it was ready.  I also didn't want to muddy the bloggy waters with discussions of my worries, sickness and exhaustion.  It felt right to separate those early 'will it work,  won't it work' months of pregnancy from the rest of my life.  And I hope you take that as a compliment - because it's meant as one!

In fact, we told very few people initially, and even then only really close friends and family.  And keeping it quiet seemed to, bizarrely, allow me to stay calmer about it all than if I was discussing it all the time (Which, as one of life's terminal over analyzers I would have done given half a chance!)

I spent those first 3 months sleeping mainly.  And feeling sick - constantly.  In between those two things there was a new job to get to grips with, an 8 year old boy and a husband who needed my attention (what was left of it!)- there wasn't a lot of time left for worrying or crafting. 

Thankfully I'm now 15 weeks, have a nicely developing bump and 3 ultrasound scans have shown that, so far anyway, everything is fine.  My next scan at 20 weeks and we're hoping to find out the gender of the baby too - well how else will I know whether to buy a load of Amy Butler fabric in blue or pink?

And wonderfully my energy has started to return and I'm crafting again.  I've making some new curtains for our lounge today and have just ordered Amy Butler's Little Stitches.  I'm also busy altering some second hand maternity clothes I've bought from ebay and local charity shops (why are maternity clothes either really expensive or totally frumpy?) And on top of that I'm revamping the Blissed out knitting website which will (tiredness allowing) be back up and running in a week or so - I'll put an announcement up when it's done.

So thank you all again for being so patient.  John, Cole and I are thrilled to be having a baby - as many of you know, it's been a bit of a twisty, turny road to get here!  My due date is September 22nd so that gives me lots of time to do all kinds of baby related crafty projects over the summer - I'm happy to get any suggestions for favourite projects you can recommend.

Jo x

We're a Wii family

We bought a Wii this week - I have to say I'm not a big fan of video games but this is FUN.  Cole is an old hand at it because his Dad already has one but he enjoyed showing John and I how to do it and we've had some great games of boxing!  It is much more interactive than the usual videogame style and I found myself enjoying a sneaky game of tennis after Cole had gone to bed last night and John was in the bath.  It's about the only exercise I've had this week so I'm counting it!

The tiredness still continues unabated.  I was on a training course today and 9-5 seemed an eternity (at least at my desk I can zone out a bit now and then and no one notices!)  I've also found out the one of my colleagues in my team (there are only 6 of us!) is also pregnant and due 2 weeks before me - it's going to be nice having someone to share things with but I'm getting slightly paranoid that she's going to be one of these lovely, slim, glamorous bump ladies while I morph into a heffalump (she's 2 dress sizes smaller and 6 years younger than me - Oh and used to be a model!)  My waist is definitely expanding and the only thing that seems to stop my sickness and nausea is eating so I'm constantly grazing.  Still, I've waited long enough for this so I'm sure once the sickness and tiredness wear off I'll be back to a more normal eating and exercise routine.

I've not really done much in the way of creating so far this week either apart from a bag for one of my friend's birthday.  She'd been admiring some of the others I'd made  so thought I'd take a chance that she'd like something handmade. I know that a lot of people really don't and think 'couldn't she afford to buy something?'  Personally I wish more people would give handmade but I have friends who really believe that giving something that's taken hours to make is a cop out and merely an attempt to save money (Have they no idea how much fabric and yarn cost these days?)  I know I'm maybe sounding a teensy bit bitter but I'm still smarting from Christmas when a handmade gift wasn't even seen as worthy of a 'thank you' let alone a 'gosh, what a lovely thought, this must have taken you hours, you really are the best friend in the world, let me buy you a big piece of cake' - which is what I'd have preferred!

I'm quite pleased with the bag - I've kind of got this type of pattern sussed now - it's pretty much made up - and so each one is unique in it's dimensions!  But I like it that way and it's much easier than making up a pattern -hey, I can barely manage a shower every morning - seriously!  I'm having one when I get home and there's a lot of deodorant action going on during the day but by the time I've managed to drag myself out of bed I can just about managed to get dressed, put some make up on and grab a piece of toast before it's time to leave - (yes, I do brush my teeth!) This is all new to me, I'm used to having tons of energy, going to the gym, making things most nights, cooking, being sociable - not any more!  This building a baby business is TIRING!

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry - I KNOW I said I wouldn't moan and I'm not really (honest) I'm just a bit frustrated because this is all so alien to me.  I'm sure I'll feel better in a few weeks and for now I just need to go with it.  And I'm sure the gym will still be there when my energy returns - and in the meantime, there's always Wii baseball!

Jo x

Scan Update

I thought I'd give a quick update on how my scan went today - in a word, not brilliantly!  I was at the hospital over 4 hours.  After a wait of over an hour, a nurse took some information from my and took my temperature which was  and told me my temperature elevated.  I was told that this could be due to a water infection and I had to give a sample.  Then after waiting for nearly an hour I went for my scan.  The technician told me that there was a yolk sack but she couldn't see an embryo.  'What does that mean?' I asked.  "It could be that your dates are out and you're not at the point you thought you were, or this isn't a viable pregnancy!"  Talk about not sugar coating things.  Then I was sent back upstairs to the Early Pregnancy unit (I had my scan with all the lovely, blooming, 16 and 20 week scan ladies which was fine because I had no reason -until the scan that is, to think that anything was wrong with mine but if you were going after having a lot of bleeding or some other problems it must be excruciating.) to wait to see a doctor. 

I eventually saw someone who took some blood and told me I'd have to come back in 2 weeks for another scan.  2 Weeks!  She then told me she needed to take some blood and dissapeared, leaving me alone in the scary looking consultation room for 55 minutes!  I was ok at first but after a while started to worry and think the worst so that by the time she came back I was a gibbering wreck.  She didn't answer any of my numerous questions - I even asked if they were taking blood to monitor my hormone levels and would they be taken again?  'No, it's just to get your blood group' (they took 4 lots!)  'Could you run the hormone levels test then?' 'No, we're not going to do that- come back in two weeks.' 

Now, I was sort of prepared for it to be too early too see anything - My GP had warned me as had a couple of friends who'd been through similar experiences.  But I wasn't prepared to be treated so coldly at such an emotionally difficult and stressful time.  Not one person was kind or showed any empathy - and certainly no one offered an ounce of reassurance.  I know that to be a health care professional you must have to develop a certain detachment - but I felt like nothing more than a number. 

Thank goodness for the internet - it's a wonderful community and I've had so much reassurance in the past hour on some of the baby boards from women who've had the same sort of scan result and things have turned out fine.  I'm glad to be back home now and am going to sit down at my sewing machine and make - something!  I don't know what, but something easy and that's going to give me some quick gratification.  I might make another shoulder bag (well, you can never have too many!

Here's one that I made at the weekend (OK, it's not a shoulder bag but it's still a bag!)  I'd had just shy of a fat quarter of the Amy Butler paisley fabric left so used up some more of the green polka dot sheet (boy am I getting my money's worth out of that - £3 well spent!)  I was going to make soft handles for it like the blue and yellow one I made a few weeks ago but messed up the cutting and didn't leave thick enough sides to make it work.  So the bag handles are a good substitute.