I'm fine - so long as I don't leave the house!

I'm turning into a hermit.  I'm quite happy with the arrangement.  In fact, I'm really ok so long as I don't try to leave the house, engage with the outside world or try and have a conversation that lasts for more than 2 minutes!

No really, I'm doing ok although I do feel very safe and warm in my nest of a house.  I can't imagine being able to return to work right now as simple things like cooking, cleaning and getting dressed in the afternoon (unless I'm taking Cole to school I'm struggling to be out of my PJs before lunch) are seem to take gargantuan amounts of energy.

Emotionally I'm a bit all over the place.  I have huge swathes of time where I feel really okish - in fact if it wasn't for feeling sore and bloated I could forget what's happened completely.  Then I have times when I just can't seem to stop the floodgates of tears. As my GP said, my hormones are currently in free fall and the fall out is me dissolving into floods at the drop of a hat.

But I've been doing some sewing and made a new bag. 

I'm about half way through my Amy Butler fat quarter stash and just don't want it to end! I've nearly finished another and have great plans for a lovely pile of gorgeousness that arrived in the post yesterday.

I managed to venture out of the house last night to go to weight watchers - I've managed to put on 5ibs over the past 6 weeks - as eating was all that seemed to stop the morning sickness it's no great surprise.  I realized that I wasn't too great when I started crying when explaining to the weight watchers leader why I hadn't been at meetings for the past 2 months.  I'm British so public displays of emotion are not seen as good!  I just felt like I was a ghost when I was sat in the meeting, watching all the women laughing and thinking to myself 'Hmm, I remember being like that' and realizing that I'm not quite as fine as I like to think.  I know I'll get there but I just feel so fragile right now.

It's my weekend to have Cole and I'm looking forward to having that lovely chunk of time with my boy.  We've not firm plans for what to do just yet - maybe a trip to the cinema and definitely some time at the park, weather permitting.  But mostly I'm looking forward to extended cuddles and talks (he's such a wise little man - even if most of the subject matter does revolve around Lego and Dr Who!)

Comments

[Carole]

I hope you have a great weekend with Cole. Thinking of you x Carole

[Vicki]

We all have times that we need to cocoon. I like the word okish, that's a good sign when you start inventing words, and I think it takes a hugh amount of calories to do that.
Love the new bag and remember tears and hormones take energy also. So those pounds are probably already gone.
Take it easy.
Vicki

[Ruth]

Cocooning is a great way to describe it. Have a great weekend with Cole.

I've been where you are, and it does get easier.

Sending you a big cyber hug.

[Allison]

Ok, love the bag and LOVE Dr. Who! Have a lovely and loving weekend.

[Twiggy]

Love the bag and sending you a big hug from me and a big kiss from Twiglet. It's good just to cocoon sometimes and be kind to yourself, take it easy and have loads of cuddles from Cole
Twiggy x

[Julia]

Hi, i just found you via Twiggypeasticks and this post touched me as I have been in that place too - a couple of times. It's awful. I hope things start to get a little better soon. It will take a while, but it will happen.